


Random stories

by Moonblackwolf



Category: Dracula & Related Fandoms, Dracula (TV 2020), Dracula - Bram Stoker
Genre: Conversations, Crack, F/M, M/M, Nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:48:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22199611
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Moonblackwolf/pseuds/Moonblackwolf
Relationships: Dracula/Jonathan Harker, Jonathan Harker/Mina Murray
Comments: 6
Kudos: 83





	1. Chapter 1

"Your husband's name is Dracula." Quincey said.

"Yes...?" Jonathan asked.

"Like in Dracula, the vampire of Hotel Transylvania? But clearly gay, since the zing had it on you rather than Van Helsing?" Quincey asked, sinking his teeth into a donut, despite the Count in question being right next to Jonathan. "Does he say also the "Blah blah blah" thing?"

"... Of all the film adaptations of bad taste on my figure, did he have to choose the worst?" Dracula sighed, glancing disapprovingly at Johnny, as if to reproach him for the type of friends he surrounded himself with.

Jonathan should have known that making his friends known to the Count was a recipe for disaster.

"Woah, man, your parents had to hate you for giving you a similar name" Quincey shrugged.

"If they hadn't found me fit for birth they would have thrown me off a cliff," Dracula replied in a tone, "and honestly I'm anxious to try it with you, who knows maybe humans fly after all! What a discovery would be"

"Jonathan put a collar on your bat, he doesn't know how to control himself!" Quincey said "Oh my God, maybe it's better not, he might like it too," he continued, regardless of the danger.

"What did you dare call me, you stupid mortal?"

"Holy God, Quincey be silent, please" Jonathan intervened, always the mediator "And Dracula, my dear, don't you dare even think you can touch my friends."

"But Johnny, he started it!"

Jonathan sighed internally. When he agreed to become his "wife", he did not think that in the marriage contract there was also the clause "you will have to babysit for the rest of eternity a secular entity with a temperament oscillating between a drama queen and a disturbing stalker" .


	2. Chapter 2

" I don't understand what your relationship is exactly. " Lucy admitted during one of their long conversations. They were at a party at his house, and they had had some time for the two of them.

" Oh, it's much simpler than it seems. " Mina said, in a fairly brisk tone. She pointed to Jonathan, who was busy talking to Jake " He's my boyfriend, so adorable isn't he?, but he happens to be the wife, for an unfortunate fate, of that horrifying monster over there. " She indicated Dracula then, who having probably heard them, gave them a toothy smile.

" Oh okay… " Lucy replied, slightly intimidated by the smile that might have seemed fascinating, obviously to someone who didn't know the true nature of the Count " And does it work? "

" Well... most of the time the Count seems to want to kill me in order to bury me in some cellar where the sun's rays do not arrive, and I could say that the feeling is quite reciprocal since I often like to delight in imagining ways to end his existence, and only maybe I could be keeping a diary with which I count all my attempted murders. The fire one was close enough. I know for sure, since he usually loves to flag my defeats while that time the jerk kidnapped my Jonathan for a whole month, until Agatha reconvened him with a magic circle and talismans. "

" But wasn't she a nun? "

" I'm pretty sure she is something between a monster hunter and a Hungarian secret agent. " Mina replied conspiratorially " Oh, and how I forget it, there are also the other brides, pretty nice if it were not for the pallor, sometimes we talk about crochet. But they have bad manners, do you have any idea how many times I told them not to eat in the kitchen? Or how difficult it is to clean the stained blood from the dining table? In any case, on good days the Count ignores me, and I ignore him. " Mina said " But Jonathan seems happy. So I would say yes. It works. "

**Author's Note:**

> As the title itself says, once again be amazed with my thriving imagination!, this will be a series of random stories, with a rather light tone depending on my mood. I will update the tags as I publish more chapters. Hope you like it.


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